We're sick. Some kind of flu. I got it yesterday, today my Mistress is affected too. Little S is healthy and happy and running around... Mistress is a hero and has taken the baby to the store by herself, while I'm lounging about feeling sorry for myself.
But an hour ago, I was lying on the mattress on the living room floor (placed there for exactly that purpose) and Mistress was sitting on the bench next to it. It felt so good, simly lying there next to her feet. I mentioned how right it felt, and then she rested one of her feet on my shoulder. I loved it. Suddenly, all the tension and stress and worry disappeared for a few minutes. Everything will be okay, because I'm hers. I belong to her, she owns me, and that means nothing can be really bad.
Miraculously, little S played nicely by herself (that in itself is a miracle) for several minutes. I could simply relax and belong, and during that moment, everything was okay.
Mar 2, 2011
Feb 23, 2011
Prioritising
The internship is actually really great, I like the tutor and it's interesting work. It's at the hospital, at a division focusing on pain, with patients whose main problem is painrelated - sometimes postoperational or cancer related, sometimes pain without an explanation. My tutor is the psychologist in a team with mostly doctors and nurses, and I kind of tag along.
Not too long days, not too stressfull. But it's a very strange feeling being away from home all day. And most of all, it's a strange feeling being in a context of proffesionals and being expected to act like one, be one, myself.
I'm not even sure anymore that I want to be a proffesional. Actually, I really just want to be my Owners little slut. I don't want my studies to take over and stress me and make me forget what's important to me and what it is that makes me happy.
What really makes me happy is belonging to my Owner. Everything else is secondary. It's important for me to remember that, and to not let everybody else and their problems get to me.
Not too long days, not too stressfull. But it's a very strange feeling being away from home all day. And most of all, it's a strange feeling being in a context of proffesionals and being expected to act like one, be one, myself.
I'm not even sure anymore that I want to be a proffesional. Actually, I really just want to be my Owners little slut. I don't want my studies to take over and stress me and make me forget what's important to me and what it is that makes me happy.
What really makes me happy is belonging to my Owner. Everything else is secondary. It's important for me to remember that, and to not let everybody else and their problems get to me.
Feb 21, 2011
Internship
I got my internship after all, the tutor changed his mind again. Or something. Actually, he had gotten fired, the day before I was to start. But he got transferred to other duties, and it's okay for me to tag along. I don't really care - as long as I have somewhere to go.
But I'm not sure if I'm cut out for this working life. I really enjoyed beeing a housewife. For the next ten weeks, however, I will be at a workplace from eight to four thirty, and that's that.
I'm already really, really tired. How does people do this?
(I should know - I've done it before. But I seem to have forgotten how much I really don't like it. I just want to be home and serve my Owner, and take care of my kid.)
But I'm not sure if I'm cut out for this working life. I really enjoyed beeing a housewife. For the next ten weeks, however, I will be at a workplace from eight to four thirty, and that's that.
I'm already really, really tired. How does people do this?
(I should know - I've done it before. But I seem to have forgotten how much I really don't like it. I just want to be home and serve my Owner, and take care of my kid.)
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