Problem solved

But when there weren't anything good on at nine o'clock, I jokingly said "well, then you'll just have to tie me up and beat me" and she said "Yeah, I guess you're right." That kind of threw me. So she walked the dog and told me to use the bathroom and shut down the laptop in the meantime, and when she got back, she tied me down at the bed, and beat my ass with the tawse.

Really really hard.

Afterwards she rearranged the ropes to have me on my back, and while she did it I commented flippantly about a rope that wasn't secured around my ancle. Something in my tone of voice or choice of words made her draw the conclusion that I wasn't properly submissive yet, "only because I haven't beaten you enough" she said and something in her voice and demeanour made me really really scared.

I apologised over and over, but that didn't help. In the end she made me lay still while she whacked me really hard, between my legs and on each of my breasts, and then on the left side of my face. She demanded that I was perfectly still and looking at her for each of the strokes, and when it was over, I was not only sincerely regretful but also very very meek and submissive.

The she left me there for a while, with an order to first count to a thousand, and then start touching myself. I was allowed to come if I said "I'm you're slut!" loudly while doing it, but I never got that far before she came back and started fucking me with her hand instead.

So yeah. I'm not complaining any more. At least not about not being beaten enough.

More whine

Also, I want to be tied up and beaten. Hard. So hard I would want to scream, but with a gag in my mouth so it doesn't matter.

I want it. Badly. Unfortunately, Mistress doesn't get turned on and interested in beatings and stuff when she's all stressed out and exhausted.

I'm comforting myself with beer and chocolate in the mean time.

Whine and stuff.

When the baby is sick everyone's unhappy. This working full time/studying full time and then handle the kid when she gets a cold, is tough under any circumstances. Add in me being on the verge of going back into depression and still having nowhere near my usual capacity, and Mistress getting more and more rundown by the double burden of job, commute and housework - well it doesn't work.

We get exhausted and grumpy from the effort of simply trying to get our day-to-day life to work out some how. Bleeergh.

I wish we could get a vacation. Unfortunately, what we get is half a meter of snow and -20 degrees Celsius. Just what we needed.