A few days ago Mistress finally took advantage of me, after a weeks hiatus. It started out with a notion from her that she wanted to cut me again, but when she unpacked the playthings I had put in the bag her plans developed a little. We were at her parents place, and I had packed an assortment of things, this and that which fit in the bag.
In the end, she tied me securely to the bed, blindfolded and gagged me, inserted a butt plug, and used both the tawse and the whip on me before creating a small piece of art on my shoulder blade with her knife. Or maybe she whipped me afterwards, I don't recall it exactly. I was mostly floating away.
Or rather, in the end I was floating. In the beginning I was scared, and stiff and a little apprehensive. We've had busy weeks for a while, not very much time for each other, and in order to not nag at her, I've stifled my own needs. And withdrawn. With withdrawal comes walls, and tearing them down, opening up again, hurts. It's scary and it hurts.
She commented on that afterwards too, that she felt something big was needed this time. It was. It was very much needed.
It's not until today, more or less, that I've fully realised how withdrawn I have become. I don't like it.
Showing posts with label buttplug. Show all posts
Showing posts with label buttplug. Show all posts
May 1, 2013
Apr 27, 2012
The luxury of working from home with kid at pre-school
Mistress worked from home today, and even though she more or less locked herself in our bedroom/office (actually, not the best combination of space, but the best we've been able to come up with) already at 7.15 this morning, when I came home around two she closed her computer and started the weekend. She'd declared that this morning already, that she planned to spend an hour with me before it was time to pick up little S at pre-school, and it made me feel so good - cared for, excited, like I was promised a big treat.
And it was a big treat. Time for just us, time to be together, time to enjoy each other, sure that nothing would disturb us - that's luxury. That's the absolut best thing in the world, for me.
She even asked me what her slut was yearning for, what I wanted most of all. And I realised that my answer was perfectly truthful - "to be used in any way Mistress desires". That's not coming from any kind of altruistic place, I'm not trying to please her or hiding anything. On her request I could come up with a hundred juicy scenarios of things she might do to me - but if she asks me what I truly want, it's as simple as being of pleasure to her. Her answer was "then I think I'll fuck you. That's what I want the most."
And she did. At first, though, we undressed, and she chained me to the bed in leather handcuffs. The moment the snap hook closes and I now I wont be able to reach anything to get loose, there's like a sigh going through my whole body. I'm completely relaxed, I simply surrender, and I'm never happier then that.
She stroked me and caressed me, then spanked me a little, and eventually she probed my ass with a buttplug. We do have a buttplug problem, though, because I've developed an allergy to latex, and all our plugs is made of it. She tried it, but I had to admit to it stinging in the wrong way, and eventually she focused her attention on other things, and started fucking me for real.
Something about the whole thing, being caressed, being tied down, having time on our hands, her using the plug on me - it drove away my usual inhibitions. After a while, I was about to start begging her to take me in the ass, and she shortly coaxed the plead out of me. After she'd demanded an orgasm from me, she ordered me to turn over, and did take me from behind. It was a long time ago, at least it felt like it, and it was wonderful. Hurtful, but wonderful. There's equal parts indulgence and shame in it for me, I love it and I'm deeply embarrased about loving it, and also, it hurts alot. Afterwards, I was somehow drained, feeling smaller and more vulnerable than I've done for a long time.
And that's ok, because we cuddled some more, took a shower, and later on, she went to pick up little S, and I'm allowed to simply stay put, taking it easy and regaining my composure. That was a long time ago too - to have the time to put me deep into subspace, doing things that affect me strongly, and me having the time to recuperate.
I'm feeling so very blessed today. Soon, my family is back home, we're going to eat tacos in front of the teve, and everything is fine.
(I'm still having the fever, though. The doc said nothing dangerous, probably virus, it will pass. Hopefully, he's right.)
(We've thrown away the plugs. No point in having toys if they're dangerous to play with. I'm hoping for a glass or metal one instead, but she might prefer silicon. I guess I'll find out.)
And it was a big treat. Time for just us, time to be together, time to enjoy each other, sure that nothing would disturb us - that's luxury. That's the absolut best thing in the world, for me.
She even asked me what her slut was yearning for, what I wanted most of all. And I realised that my answer was perfectly truthful - "to be used in any way Mistress desires". That's not coming from any kind of altruistic place, I'm not trying to please her or hiding anything. On her request I could come up with a hundred juicy scenarios of things she might do to me - but if she asks me what I truly want, it's as simple as being of pleasure to her. Her answer was "then I think I'll fuck you. That's what I want the most."
And she did. At first, though, we undressed, and she chained me to the bed in leather handcuffs. The moment the snap hook closes and I now I wont be able to reach anything to get loose, there's like a sigh going through my whole body. I'm completely relaxed, I simply surrender, and I'm never happier then that.
She stroked me and caressed me, then spanked me a little, and eventually she probed my ass with a buttplug. We do have a buttplug problem, though, because I've developed an allergy to latex, and all our plugs is made of it. She tried it, but I had to admit to it stinging in the wrong way, and eventually she focused her attention on other things, and started fucking me for real.
Something about the whole thing, being caressed, being tied down, having time on our hands, her using the plug on me - it drove away my usual inhibitions. After a while, I was about to start begging her to take me in the ass, and she shortly coaxed the plead out of me. After she'd demanded an orgasm from me, she ordered me to turn over, and did take me from behind. It was a long time ago, at least it felt like it, and it was wonderful. Hurtful, but wonderful. There's equal parts indulgence and shame in it for me, I love it and I'm deeply embarrased about loving it, and also, it hurts alot. Afterwards, I was somehow drained, feeling smaller and more vulnerable than I've done for a long time.
And that's ok, because we cuddled some more, took a shower, and later on, she went to pick up little S, and I'm allowed to simply stay put, taking it easy and regaining my composure. That was a long time ago too - to have the time to put me deep into subspace, doing things that affect me strongly, and me having the time to recuperate.
I'm feeling so very blessed today. Soon, my family is back home, we're going to eat tacos in front of the teve, and everything is fine.
(I'm still having the fever, though. The doc said nothing dangerous, probably virus, it will pass. Hopefully, he's right.)
(We've thrown away the plugs. No point in having toys if they're dangerous to play with. I'm hoping for a glass or metal one instead, but she might prefer silicon. I guess I'll find out.)
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