Not a bad Sunday

We had a shaky start this morning, little S woke up with an eye infection which meant that our afternoon of babyfree time was threatened. Luckily it turned out that grandma was fine with hanging out with a little red eyed monster, but before we knew that the idea of another weekend comprised entirely of watching kid and working made the mood a little bleak.

I pick up on Mistress mood so goddamn strong and quick. Especially when I'm in the state I'm in now, overworked and overstressed and generally out of sorts. Her grumpiness gives me angst, and this morning I simply gave some excuse after breakfast and shut myself in the bedroom, curled up under the covers and tried to concentrate on counting my breaths and waiting for the panic to abate. It's a really unpleasant feeling, even though it helps knowing that it's not dangerous and that there's nothing really wrong except for me being to tired.

We had a nice outing before lunch, looking for a pair of joggers for little S. Unfortunately she's in a stage right now when she's realised that she's a girl, caught on to the idea that girls should have pink glitter on everything (not shared by either of her moms) and refusing every one of the sensible, multicoloured, good-for-running shoes we picked out. We, on the other hand, absolutely refused the glittery pink sandals she voted for. We'll give it another try tomorrow - some store somewhere must have realised that it's a good idea to make sensible, strong, practical shoes for three-year-olds and then colour them pink and put a lot of glitter on them. I would, if I made kids' shoes.

And then, finally, Mistress took little S on her bike to grandma, and when she returned we had coffee and ice cream on the patio, and it was warm and sunny for the first time this year, and afterwards we just went and layed down in bed together. And fell asleep. I think we were tired.

Mistress woke me up after a bit, and had decided that I would stay where I was, while she went to work at the computer beside the bed. She tied me up securely on my side, and left me there, to rest and slumber and wait for her. It was wonderful. I slept so good, and every time I drifted awake again I could feel the rope against me, knowing that there were nowhere else for me to be, and hearing her clattering on the computer. I was laying in a sun spot on the bed and it all felt so very very luxurious.

And then she got her strap on and fucked me silly 'til we both came.

All in all, a very good Sunday. And next week Mistress' deadline will have past and she'll get back to a more reasonable working schedule instead of the crazy one she's had for the last week. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to that.

 

Being tied up for over and hour gave me very pretty rope marks too. There's some spots there I even think will bruise and stay for awhile. It's like jewellery, in a way. 

Jinglebells, jinglebells

When we woke up this morning there was a snow storm outside. It has continued all day. Mistress took little S on her back in the ergo carrier and skiied to the pre-school. For real. I'm so in awe of her. I've been telling people about that all day in school and everybody has been duly impressed.

I mean, it makes perfect sense. Biking is out, since there's a half meter of snow everywhere. The car is covered in snow and freezing cold, so that's not practical either. That leaves walking, and why walk when there's a perfectly good pair of skis standing right by the door? So, skiing it was. I'm still impressed though. And she went and got her in the same way in the afternoon. I'm thinking I might volunteer to do it tomorrow morning.

Mistress wont be going to her work tomorrow though, most likely, since it's 1,5 hour with bus on a narrow road that is prone to accidents. I hope she stays home. I'll be going to school, I think, since I have an important seminar after lunch. But I think I'll call ahead and check that the tutor is actually there, and not stuck on a train somewhere. It's an on going joke that the train company acts surprised each year when the snow comes. It's always chaos. And I mean, it snows here every year, shouldn't they know that by now?

It's pretty, though. Cold, but pretty. From inside, I'm all for it.

This is what our neighbourhood looked like as I was going home from the bus station this afternoon.

We might have problems opening the front door in the morning. But since we live on the first floor, we can always jump out a window...

It's winter now

This morning, it was -23 degrees Celsius. That's freaking cold! It makes me very aware of how fragile we are, how lucky we are to have a warm home, and how dependent we are of that.

Little S. is healthy again, even though right now I hear scary coughs coming from her bedroom. I hope she'll keep on sleeping. It's a bad omen if she comes out of bed this early in the evening - it doesn't bode well for the night to come.

Now Mistress and I will curl up under our warm fleece blanket and watch the telly. And drink tea. A winter type evening, one might say.

Oh, and my butt hurts. There's band aids on it. Good things, all around.

Whine and stuff.

When the baby is sick everyone's unhappy. This working full time/studying full time and then handle the kid when she gets a cold, is tough under any circumstances. Add in me being on the verge of going back into depression and still having nowhere near my usual capacity, and Mistress getting more and more rundown by the double burden of job, commute and housework - well it doesn't work.

We get exhausted and grumpy from the effort of simply trying to get our day-to-day life to work out some how. Bleeergh.

I wish we could get a vacation. Unfortunately, what we get is half a meter of snow and -20 degrees Celsius. Just what we needed.

Edinburgh!

Being without Mistress for two days makes me realise, for the gazillionth time, how much I depend on her. How I miss her when she's gone. Her being away makes my world slightly off kilter, as if everything could begin rolling away as on a sloping floor at any time. It's just wrong.

Especially at bedtimes. It's kind of sad, and very symbolic of our current parenting-centered life, that the highlight of each day is cuddling up together in our bed, going to sleep. Putting on my own dog collar, cuddling a mere stuffed toy, is not an ok substitute.

But then I did something incredibly brave. Brave, because I was deadly afraid of doing it, and did it anyway. I flew from our town in Sweden to Edinburgh, Scotland, all by myself, with a transfer at Heathrow. I left home for the bus in to town by 8.30, and then followed train to the airport, airplane to Heathrow, airplane to Edinburgh and finally bus to meet Mistress in City Centre. We met in a very cold and rainy street surrounded by construction sites at around 17.30 local time, which ment 18.30 for my internal clock. It was a long, long day.

I mean, apart for me worrying about stuff, running around in circles, and hurrying through everything everywhere for fear of being late, ending up sitting at airport gates waiting forever to board the plane, everything went fine. I got through every security check, including having my photo taken at two different locations at Heathrow, having my bag swiped for explosives, getting frisked after beeping in the metal detector (even though I've taken off not only my belt but also my shoes), and showing my passport no less than four times total at the Swedish airport.

At none of those checks was I declared a terrorist. Which is reasonable, because I'm not, but I'm thinking that the more checks you do, the higher the risk for a false positive - if you do enough checks, eventually everyone will be busted for something, by chance or technical malfunction, purely for statistical reasons. 

Actually, the only trouble that directly concerned me (there was a man who fell ill because of low blood pressure on the flight to Heathrow, but he quickly recovered) happened after landing. Mistress' phone didn't receive my texts, so when I arrived at City Centre, she wasn't waiting for me, and instead I ended up in the drizzling rain, hiding out in a roofed doorway without a cap or an umbrella, while we tried to connect and find each other. But the mere fact that we were on the same soil, that there weren't any oceans or hundreds of miles between us, made me calm. I knew she would come, I knew she would find me in this strange, rainy city, and she did.

We went to her hotel, checked me in, had a hot shower, and eventually simply went downstairs and ate what the receptionist found in their freezer (we think). I had a lovely chicken tikka masala, Mistress had spinach cannelloni, and we got complimentary garlic bread. Then we went upstairs, crawled in to bed, tried to watch a stupid movie on the flat screen tv (it is a flat screen. It is also very narrow, and short. One might simply call it petite all around...), and fell asleep.

But in the morning we woke up to a whole new day, and the slow morning cuddle turned in to her fucking me, until we've orgasmed twice and lay panting on the bed. It was so so good to be together again. I can barely stand it when we're apart.

She's working now, holding a lecture at the conference she's attending, but when she's done we'll go out for lunch. I've been shopping in the morning and had my third shower since I arrived. It's freezing outside, the hotel hasn't got double glazed windows, and everything is damp. Showers are a good way to get warm after being chilled.

I'm in love with the city of Edinburgh. I'm starting to think that one of my life goals is to move here, sometime, even for only a short period. I've visited Scotland three times, and every time when the plane descend at the airport, it is the same feeling - of coming home. I can't explain it, but I do feel it, and somehow I love that there is more than one place on earth that can give me that feeling. Even if the other one is a rainy peninsula that I've only ever visited for short periods as a tourist. 

Even colder

Now it's minus 27 degrees Celsius. That's minus 17 Farenheit. Babygirl is definitely not sticking her nose outside today. I'm at my Owners parents house, waiting for her while she's working, and trying to spend the time with my MIL and babygirl. I could think of more entertaining stuff to do on a Saturday.

Winter

It's minus 21 degrees Celsius outside right now, by the way. That's -6 Farhenheit, if I understand the converter correctly. It's very, very cold. Very cold. So cold that's it's not fun anymore.

I know that in some parts of the world, late February is the beginning of springtime. Here, in my part of the world, it's right in the middle of "freeze-your-ass-off"-time.

And I don't like it.

Snowy woods