"What is your favorite sort of interaction with your Mistress?"

Yey! I got a question from ancilla_ksst, thanks! My favourite sort of interaction with Mistress?

Honestly - when she's fucking me. :-) That's my very favourite thing, much the same way that my favourite food is chocolate and my favourite place is on vacation. I like pleasure and sensation and indulgence, and being fucked gives me all of that.

Most days we don't do that, however, because well, life and tired and time and things. So on a typical weekday when we both have been working we don't really get to spend much time with each other until little S is asleep. We usually cuddle up on the sofa, and I rest with my head on her shoulder. She pets my hair, and everything is nice and soft and safe. That's good too.

And then when we go to bed and say good night I lay on her arm and she holds my wrist in her hand and we're close together and drift off to sleep. That's good to.

I think I simply like to cuddle a lot. 

Random thoughts on Christmas Day

Our first Christmas in the new house. This is our seventh Christmas as parents, and some of them have been remarkably lousy. Like the year when the kid had a stomach bug that just wouldn't let up and we went to the ER in the middle of the night in fear of her being dehydrated. Or the one when she started the day with picking up a piece of glass and putting it in her mouth. She spent all of Christmas dinner crying, and we had no idea why until later when we discovered she had cut herself. Anyway, big family gathering with lots of expectations has a tendency to end up disappointing.

This was a good one, though. Everybody was more or less nice to each other, and our kid played happily with her two cousins a lot of the day. We even managed to make the preparations and clean up for two meals (with ten people) not be entirely done by the females of the crowd. My brother and uncle didn't volunter, but they did agree when asked directly, and that will have to count as good enough.

That's a bit ridiculous actually. We were seven adults; me and Mistress, my brother and his wife, my mother, and my fathers brother och and his older sister. I have ADHD and a history of burn out and I'm very easily fatigued. My sister in law has Ehler-Danlos syndrome, a chronic illness that gives pain and physical weakness and fatigue. My mother had a stroke two years ago, and my aunt has Parkinson. So of us seven, only three are in fighting shape; my wife, my brother and my uncle. That didn't stop the two guys from spending a good part of the afternoon in beds on their backs, telling each other facts about unrelated things. Male privilege. I kind of hate it.

Anyway, today is spent at home just the three of us. I'm doing the privilege thing and lounging about upstairs while Mistress is playing with little S right now. But I'll join them soon, and my plan is that Mistress will be doing the lounging after dinner.

Of kink there is for the time beeing absolutely none. Because of life, and sickness and stress and missed opportunities and well... life. Mistress doesn't do kink or sex or anything like that when she's stressed, and we've been sick in some flu-like virus the week before Christmas. So yeah.

It's interesting, because I can feel how I slowly start to lose my good manners when we drift apart. I'm not intentionally bad in any way, but I get careless I guess. Or insecure, and therefore a bit obnoxious. It doesn't really make any sense, because we're not in a bad place actually. We just haven't had the opportunity for play or sex for a while. In every other way we're all good. But still. I lose my sense of place in the world, I get all uncomfortable and I don't like it.

The more I can behave myself and be the obedient and loving partner my Mistress wants me to be, the better it will be. The sooner we'll get on the right track again. If I start acting up and panic, we'll have to put a lot of valuable time and energy into fixing things, resources better spent having fun. So I'm trying.

I have a paper sign I've made to myself, several years ago, on the refrigerator. It has the words "acceptance, patience, trust" written on it. I try to remember that and be as well as I can in the moment.

Home alone

I'm home alone all day, little S is at a day camp and Mistress is working. So far I've gotten involved in some heated internet debate about subsidised day care, and gotten all wound up in a way I know Mistress wouldn't approve of. So I'm trying to quit it for the day. I've finally made a fire in the kitchen range, and made some coffee.

And yeah, that's about it. It's after ten in the morning, and so far I've had a great day off. I will put some real clothes on any time now. I'm sure of it.

Her touch

I'm amazed by the feelings I get when she touches me. Not just holding my hand or the cuddle on the sofa in front of the telly, but how it feels when I suddenly realise she wants me. The touch of her hands, the feeling of her mouth to mine, her body close to mine. It's always amazing.

I've been working to much this fall, at least that's how it feels. We've had the everyday life we were asking for, but there hasn't been enough time or energy left for us. We haven't done anything just the two of us, no movie theater or beer at the pub. Nothing, just putting kid to bed, watch Dr Who, go to sleep. That's nok okay. That's not enough.

She just fucked me, hard and lovingly, and now she's making sandwiches to eat in front of the telly. And she told me to go write something, anything, about the kinky side of our life. The silence on here has a direct connection to the all to little focus the power exchange between us, and the love and sex and connection between us, has gotten at the end of 2014. I think there's a good  chance that that will change in 2015.

Mistress says it's time to brush my teeth now.

We have a very comfortable evening routine were we cuddle on the sofa with some tea and sandwiches and watch something more or less mindless for an hour. The only downside with this is that I'm starting to think that we've forgotten how to have sex. But then again, sex late in week nights never was our thing.

Something about moving, or maybe more about me going to work, has really screwed with out mojo. We're not unhappy or in a bad place, we feel rock solid actually. We just seem... not all that horny. Sometimes I think it's my fault, because I've always been the one with the more loud and obnoxious libido, and maybe now when I'm not pushing for it (or at least not as hard or as often) we're going to slide on to lesbian bed death and realise in a year that we haven't had sex since last summer.

And then I think "meh!" and feel secure in the fact that our love life tends to wax and wane in general, but the love doesn't. It's still there. It's just the "getting it on" factor that's missing a bit.