Assignment

Mistress is reading bedtime story to little S, and she gave me a few assignments to do while she was occupied. One was writing a blog entry, about whatever I wanted. Another was laying out three things she could hit me with and three things she could use to penetrate me with.

I love that. I get to choose the things I like and hope for, but I can't make her use any one thing or influence how she uses it.

She used the carpet beater on me yesterday. Ingeniously she varied the padding on me instead of the power of her strokes to serve as warm up. Well, at first she hit me with my trousers down but apparently I whimpered to much so she put them back on, and then something else - my dressing gown I think. Or maybe a blanket. And hit me full force for a while, which hurt but only just. She removed on thing at a time until she was down to bare skin again and by then I was all mellow and floaty.

Also, she used my own breathing technique on me, making me exhale and then not inhale until she told me to. I teach patients that to calm down and lessen anxiety, but counting seconds by hits with a carpet beater was not part of the original instructions. Worked very well, though.

Today we've been all kinds om jittery. I have what feels like bruises, but nothing shows, and I think we were both touched in our hearts. After reconnecting through pain and dominance we both have a need for cuddling and reassurance and just being close.

Unfortunately what was on the agenda was taking turns parenting a needy, hyper active and extremly jealous six year old. We both love her, deeply and dearly, but I think if a space ship had landed and asked to abduct her for a couple of hours, with a solemn promise of returning her unharmed and with a wiped memory, we just might have agreed.

The trick is to keep staying connected. To keep taking all the chances we get. It's hard, because it's so painful to get separated when we've been reunited. But the alternative, staying apart and distant from eachother, is frankly not acceptable.



Also, new rule. Or deal. Or experiment or whatever. When we are separated overnight, usually because Mistress travels for work, when we're reunited we wont argue. There's an arguing ban. No discussions, no conflicts, no solving of anything whatsoever. Twelve hours onwards from reuniting we are to swollow and accept anything and everything from eachother and forgive every wrong, look beyond every mistake and turn the other cheek at every slight. We're so damn nervy and twitchy and prone to conflict and crisis when we've been apart - if we could just keep quite and sit still for a day or so, I think it would spare us a lot of grief. So we'll try this radical, rather unflexible approach and see what happens.

And Mistress has formulated a goal that she shall beat me as soon as possible when she gets home, and at least withing 48 hours. We usually go sweet reunion --> horrible argument --> making up -->spanking. It would be nice if we could by pass those two in the middle.

Assignment: rules

Mistress gave me another assignment today: to list rules. Three rules we have, three rules we don't have yet but that I would like and three rules we don't have that I really wouldn't want.

So okay, here goes:

Rules we have:
1) I have to ask permission before going to bed at night.
2) After Mistress has said good night to me I'm not allowed to talk anymore before falling asleep.
3) I'm not allowed to eat sweets of any kind without asking for permission any day except Saturday.

Rules we don't have that I'd like:
1) Waiting for Mistress' approval before starting to eat when we are together.
2) Being naked, in a robe or otherwise dressed in some specific way when we're alone together in the evenings.
3) Having specific postures for different situations, for example kneeling beside her or standing in some specific way when waiting for her (when we're alone).

Rules we don't have that I wouldn't want:
1) Not being allowed at all to masturbate or orgasm alone.
2) Not being allowed to buy stuff at all or without prior permission.
3) Not being allowed to discuss our relationship or Mistress with other people, in real life or on internet.

When I started writing this assignment seemed really difficult. But it turned out to be pretty straightforward. And it made me think about the rules we have now, and why we have them and also about those we've tried but not kept. Those we have now survived the purgatory and are useful and simple. I wouldn't want to live without them.

Rules

Another thing we discussed were rules. We do have them, I'm sure of it. Sometimes, when I screw up, we notice them.

But the things that seemed sexy or challenging or at least a little kinky when they came in to effect are now very mundane and taken for granted. So maybe it would be a good idea to write them down. Both to remember them and to evaluate them and maybe to get that kinky feeling back a little.

We have one very definit rule I'm pretty sure is not going to be re-evaluated anytime soon. I got reminded, painfully, of that yesterday, when I forgot it.

Rule: I am not allowed to stick my tongue out to Mistress.

Mission: dressing gown

We've been talking a lot the last few days. Good talks, about what we can do to bring more of the magic back into our relationship. There's nothing wrong with the foundation, it's rock solid. But having the kid, me being sick, moving a couple of times; the stress of the last few years has made us trim away everything that isn't absolutely necessary. We have a good cake, but all the frosting is gone. And the filling. And also the spoon, platters and well everything except the cake part. And it's kind of boring.

One of the things we've talked about is the time each night when little S has fallen asleep and we have a couple of hours before bedtime. Usually we do some necessary things first, clean up in the kitchen, talk about household administration stuff, maybe take a shower  or prepare stuff for the next day. And then we usually make us some tea and sandwiches and snuggle on the couch in front of the telly. Without making any big changes this time could be used much more to reinforce our roles, to be us in a way we can't be in front of little S or other people.

So we discussed if it wouldn't be much better if I was naked. And yes, that would be a good way to reinforce my status in comparison to Mistress, and it would leave me vulnerable and make me feel more submissive. It would also, unfortunately, probably leave me with a cold. The house is usually around 17-18 degrees Celsius, and that's just below comfortable temperature if you don't have clothes. Actually we usually have a warm sweater on, sometimes long johns too, and always warm socks and slippers.

Okay then, but why not a nice dressing robe?

So I have an assignment - before January 6th I am to present three different alternatives for sexy, cosy dressing robes to Mistress.

Here they are:

Dressing gown Hemtex

Dressing gown Twilfit

Dressing gown Sova