Parenting...

A post from mouse and Omega at The Power Exchange struck a thought in my head. They have just gotten a baby (yey!) and I suddenly remembered what it was like for us when litte S was not only little but practically tiny. When we had just gotten her and our life change completely in an instant.

For me, it was really hard. It was like suddenly I, we, had this treasure, this most precious thing, that we had to guard och and cherish all the time. She was the most important thing in the world - but that meant that other things, things that also were important, had to come in second. We no longer had time to sleep, to eat properly, to meet friends, and more importantly, to think, to talk, to be with each other.

I wanted to have a baby with the one I love the most, with my soulmate, whom my life revolved around. I wanted us to have and to share a family, to raise a child (and possibly children) together. Partly because I very much wanted to become pregnant and bear a child and be a mother, but also because I wanted to do that with her, specifically with her. I hade finally found the one I wanted to raise a child with.

And the first thing that child-raising-business required of us what that we separated. It almost broke my heart.

We still lived together, in our tiny flat. But we could almost never talk to each other, and we very often slept when the other one was awake. We had to work shift, and we simply didn't have time to connect. It took us a few weeks to realise it, but the truth was that if we would ever get any sleep, we had to sleep separately. So we started to do that. And missed each other like crazy.

I know, and I'm glad, that not all children are like ours that first year. She definitely was one of those 4% high-need babys, and no matter how much we missed each other, her needs came first. I'm so glad she's not like that any more.

Now she's a happy, adorable two-and-a-half-years old, and we are getting in to a daily routine that actually works. But that first year was a rough one.

Our life now is not like the one we had before we became parents. But nowadays it's actually a good one!

And sometimes I have to remind myself that even before we got a baby, we didn't necessarily get enough time together, or did everything we wanted, or had sex all the time. It just seems like that in retrospect...