Setback

For different reasons my brain problems got worse this week, I had a little setback plain and simple. It's very hard not to panic and despair, but when my rational mind takes the lead, I can convince myself that it's perfectly normal. There's ups and downs in everything, and it would be naïve to think my recovery would be a straight line upwards, with me fully functioning and prancing around all day long in August. It's more likely going to be like a mountain climb - a little up, a little down, and every time you reach the crest of one hill you see another rising before you. It's just how it is.

I have ADHD and recurring depressions, and I'm suffering from a burn out that started developing at least since the summer of 2010, and it's not even my first one. It's not going to go away in a puff of smoke in a couple of weeks. Some of it will never go away, and some of it will get better, in it's own time. I have to trust that I'm doing the right things, that my medication is helping, and that rest and time and love and patience will bring healing and recovery eventually.

Also, my worst days now is better than my average days last summer, or even this winter. It's definitely an improvement. I'm just not the super human I think I should be. Accepting that and loving me all the same is, I think, one of the most important parts of the journey I'm doing so far.

Right now I'm eating chips and surfing the web on the couch besides Mistress who's working. I'm counting this as constructive actions in regards to getting better...