I took the car today, to have lunch with a friend. I really didn't need to, I could have taken my bike, but it was raining and I was feeling tired and grumpy. Or the bus, but truth be told, I fell asleep and when I woke up I would just make it in time with the car.
I had a lovely lunch with an old friend I haven't seen in ages, and when it was time for her to return to work I offered to drive her. When we got there, I turned the engine off while we finished our conversation, we hugged and said good bye and I turned the ignition key, and got nothing.
The car wouldn't start. And that turned a so far good but a little low day in to a rather horrid one.
In the end, I got home again around six-thirty, and the worst part of the whole day was the look in Mistress' eyes. She looked so sad, and defeated, and tired and angry and well, just generally frazzled. Most of it has nothing to do with me, or with the car, but knowing that decisions I've made today, like taking the car at all for instance, made her day worse makes me hate myself a little.
I don't know if she's angry with me for any of it. I texted her as soon as it happened, and she was informed of every decision I made and I did as she told me to when she had any input, but in the end I still feel guilty. Like I should have done better. I know she hates it when unexpected things happen, and especially when she's not in control of them. I think she would much have preferred being the one waiting by the broken down car over having to leave work early and pick up the kid and fix dinner and play nice and be in a good mood with a cranky four-year-old.
And now her mother called. Today we know whether her dad has skeletal cancer or not. Today is not an easy day.
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Mistress is still on the phone with her mom, but she just gave me a thumbs up. The relief is immense.
That is so good to know! We had a scare like that with our niece- which turned out also not cancer. Yay!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you niece was ok! Mistress dad has prostate cancer, and last year a scan showed metastasis in the ribcage. But he had heart himself falling down not long before that, so six month later they made a new scan, and now he was finally told the result (it took a while before they got back to him). And the shadows in the ribcage was gone, it most likely was an inflammation caused by the fall and not cancer spreading. Such a lucky break!
ReplyDeleteSkeletal cancer usually kills within two years, painfully. But if it hasn't spread the treatment will probably stave off the cancer indefinitely, he'll most likely die of something else first (he's 72). He's going to see little S growing up, he's going to finish building his retirement home by the sea, my mother-in-law wont be left alone for the last decades of her life. Such a relief!