I wish

I wish this was a blog about a happy, kinky D/s couple. I wish, dearly, that we were a happy, kinky D/s couple. But mostly, we're in crisis, crying and arguing, or in job-mood, getting things done, but definitely not doing it.

And nowadays not even that is any good anymore. We used to work so well together. That was one of our strongest point, that we were great coworkers and got things done. Now it feels like we're bickering all the time, over the simplest things.

I want her to be my Owner, my Mistress, my Syr. But me wanting it doesn't make it so. She has to act the part. She has to actually make decisions. Have opinions and express them. Care about me and think about what she wants with me, how she wants me and what she wants me to do. And she has to express that care and those wants in a way that makes sense to me, that is directed at me and that shows that she's the boss and I'm not.

Every other day, she does those things. But every other day she doesn't. And that doesn't really work for me, because on the days she doesn't, she breaks my heart.

And it hurts.