Sometimes I want to make a t-shirt were I've written down everything that's odd about me. The thing is, the cool kids, the avant-garde, the norm-breakers, they tend to advertise. They have mohawks' and piercings and tats and cool clothes and listen to music that fits with their clothes and the crowd they hang out with.
When I went to gymnasiet (think High School, 16-19 years old) I hung out with a group of left wing vegetarians and vegans. They all had long hair, like really really long, long flowy skirts, and cared a lot about the environment and organised rallys and were politically aware. I was to. I did to. But I wore my hair short and had jeans all the time. Mostly the same pair - I'm not sure I owned more than one pair.
Later, I studied at the university and worked for a while, and I never got the hang of that outfit thing then either. Now I guess my look fits part of my life, since I look more or less like a frumpy soccer mom, and I am one - more or less. My friends are usually awesome people, really cool, and they tend to present themselves that way too. Many of them have looks that screams "alternative liftestyle" a mile away.
And then there's me.
And on some level, it is annoying. I mean, I guess there's a reason why I look like I look - there's nothing stopping me from changing it up if I wanted to. Well, yes there is, Mistress would probably have strong opinions about any kind of body mod or hair changes, and clothes costs money, and make up takes skill and time and so on and so forth. And also, in the end it bothers me, but not that much. Not enough so that I want to make any wholehearted effort to change it.
Hence, the t-shirt.
It could say: "I have ADHD!". It could say "I'm still breastfeeding my three-year-old!". It could say "I once lived in a poly-tryad". It could say "I'm owned property". It could say "I get beaten bloody regularly and I love it". It could say "I'm bisexual". It could say "I live in a same-sex marriage".
Or maybe just a cloud of words: ADHD. Owned. Bi. Lesbian. Pervert. Masochist. Pro breastfeeding for toddlers. Poly. I'm strange and I know it.
Just so I wouldn't have to disappoint people all the time, just because they judge me by the cover.
That is so me. I look terribly ordinary. But I don't feel ordinary. I ought to have a pierced eye brow or tattoo or something to advertise, but Master prefers the "blending in" look for me. :)
ReplyDeleteI used to feel that way all the time. Thankfully I recently got a mohawk and started dressing like an anime villainess. Now I'm well again :D
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