No limits - yeah, I guess so.

Because of my anxiety and depression and fatigue, I was really really afraid of what going to my summer job would mean for my mental health. Mistress made me go anyway, even though I was really sure this would make my issues way worse. She litterary made me, she looked me in the eye and said "suffer for me!" and I did. I got predictably really sick, and am now trying to recuperate, eating meds and waiting for treatment.

Whether this was a wise move or not we don't really know - I would have preferred to rest at home and hope it would pass on its own, but Mistress preferred provoking it so that the doctor would have something to examine and we would have a better shot at getting the right treatment. She made a decision in my best interest, but one that scared the shit out of me, hurt a lot, and that I wouldn't have made.

The thing is that I realised that this, for me, answers the question "But what would you do if your Owner told you to cut off an arm/jump off a cliff/murder someone?" You know, those aimed at showing that one can't really promise to obey someone in all things, because there will always be limits, there will always be things one ultimately will refuse. For me, this was one thing that showed that no, I will obey. I conciously and deliberatly did things that hurt my mind, that more or less destroyed what was left of my mental health, that put me at risk of making me unable to be a good enough mother to my child, because she told me to.

Hacking off an arm on demand? Pfft! Any day!

Not because I'm such a tough little slave that always obeys, but because I trust her judgment, and have made the choice of following her, even when I don't agree or when I don't see were we're going. I trust her. I believe she has good reasons for what she's doing. And with that, I don't think there's any one specific act that I can't imagine a scenario where she would order me and I would obey - if she told me to jump off a cliff, it would probably be for a damn good reason.