And now she's home again, and the centre of my world is returned. I love being aware of how awesome her body feels, how great she looks, how good it makes me feel to simply touch her and be near her.
Okay, then she's forced to herd and cater to and argue with little S for hours at the time, while I hide away in order to protect my poor head from the sheer racket of it all, and we hardly see each other and her voice gets curter and shriller for every minute, and I can hear the stress building up. And then I feel bad and my bad conscience rears its ugly head. I wish our lifes was a bit simpler. I so very much wish her life was a little bit simpler.
But then again, without us her life would be empty. I want to believe we both contribute to her existence, not only me but little S too. I think we do.
And it wont always be like this. I will be healthy again, and have more energy and be able to contribute more. And when I've graduated I'll be able to get a job and we'll have more money, and there's a lot to say for throwing money at problems and make them go away. And little S do gets easier the more she grows. Her personality wont change, I suspect, but her ability to control impulses and understand instructions increases, which makes everything easier.
And almost the first thing Mistress did when she got home was to take her belt out of the loops of her jeans and beat me with it. And then she fucked me. I think we're in an okay place, in the big scheme of things.
But now I'm hoping she'll do it again soon.
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