Busy little bee

Today I have:
1) Had an emotionally taxing meeting with one of the teachers at my daughters pre-school early in the morning, trying to convey the message that something's wrong and that even if the symtoms only manifests at home that doesn't mean the problem can't be present at the pre-school too. And trying to handle the frustration that comes from being treated as someone who doesn't know anything about kid's normal development, when I do. Bleergh.

2) Gone home and studied for exam on Thursday.

3) Gotten on a bus to get to a lunch meeting

4) Had a lunch meeting in a noisy and crowded café (bad choice, wont go there again) and discussed the thesis (or paper? or exam paper? I have no idea.) me and a colleague are going to spend the whole of next term writing.

5) Had to hurry away from there to go to a mandatory seminar, that went on for an hour (during which time I knitted frenetically because I was so tense and worked up).

6) Only to take the bus home, fetch the stroller, walk the kilometre to the pre-school, dress the little squirrel and drive her home in half a metre of snow and more coming all the time, and eat dinner.

7) Collapsed.

8) Oh, and had my mother over for said dinner, and for playtime with the happy little squirrel, who choose to top it all off with parting advice about us not getting any more babies, since "you seemed to think it was so much hard work the last time". Yeah. Thank you. Not a dilemma I'm planning on solving this very minute, thank you very much.

And in a way I know this day on the one hand would have been a bit much for anyone, but also that on the other hand most people with jobs and kids do these kinds of things on a regular basis. But that has really no bearing on what this means to me.

For me, this is... amazing. Unheard of. I haven't been this active and productive in about a year, and even then it was under duress and with a feeling of dread and exhaustion. Now I'm tired, and a bit high-strung, but I don't feel like killing myself (or anyone else) and I'm not falling asleep on the couch.

I am getting better.

My only worry right now is that I will be a walking corpse tomorrow, cognitive-wise, not to mention Thursday, when the exam is. But I'll deal with that then.

I'm guessing my chance of making Mistress hurt me in any nice way is pretty slim - she didn't sleep well last night, and she's still at her computer working now, even though it's soon past eight. But I'll give it a shot. The thing I long for most of all right now is being tied down and floating away on happy pain-endorphins.

Or maybe I'll just have to go to sleep like a normal person.