Fears

When I left my ex and moved in with Mistress, we already had a power exchange in place. We had come to terms with me being submissive, and she had realised she enjoyed dominating me. Still, it was a new thing for us to be alone together, for her to have me all to herself, and to me to not being torn between two conflicting masters. It was a huge relief, but also kind of scary. We fought a lot, horrible, angst-filled conflicts that could last for days, flaring up again and again. They always centerd on the same theme, the same one we fight about to this day to be honest; "Do you really want me?"

For me, it was "do you really want my submission? Do you want me in this fashion, in this way that I'm trying to give myself up to you? Do you want me enough to be careful of me, to keep me and treat me well? Do you? Do you really really? Really?"

For her it was the same, I think, but the other way around: "Do you really want to be controlled? Are you really ok with me doing horrible things to you? Are you going to tell me I'm a horrible person and leave me? You can't really want this, can you?"

And we desperately wanted the other one to soothe our fears, without being very good at listening to the answers...