Apr 26, 2012

Rules and regulations

I answered on a thread on Fetlife about what the dominant controls, and realised afterwards that I actually forgot to mention a few things. One of my rules is that I'm not allowed to write more than one post a day at Fetlife - ironically, that was one of the ones I forgot to mention. And everything to do about sex.

I think that's funny, and even funnier that another person also wrote later on something along the lines of "oh no, I forgot to even mention sex!". It's so taken for granted that she controls everything regarding sex, that I don't even bring it up in a text regarding what things in my life she controls... That makes only really weird sense.

I found it hard to really define what my rules are, and whats more like preferences I know she has and therefore acquiesces to. We've never written anything down, and she doesn't remind me of rules or expectations as long as I follow them. And I trudge happily along, supposing I'm a good girl as long as she doesn't look at me sternly, slaps my face or pinch my ear.

My rules, however, is: No sweets except Saturdays or by permission. No more than one post at Fetlife a day (fairly recent, that one). No going to bed without permission (defined as taking clothes of and pulling cover away, at night time. I may spend time in bed during the day, I'm just supposed to wait for her when we do it together).

No leaving the bed when she's in it without permission. I sleep collared with a red dog collar and chained to the bed, but it's not locked, and if she has had to leave the bed during the night, I'm allowed to unchain myself to go to the bathroom, or get up in the morning. That feels very very wrong, but it's the only practical solution we've found with a little one waking at all hours at night and demanding company. If she's in the bed, I have to wake her and ask for permission, and wait for her to unchain me.

Always make a curtsy when I serve her coffee or whisky. If it's really inappropriate to do so, if my mother is standing right next to me or something, I may make eye contact and wait for a nod instead. But generally, always curtsy. I often do it with other things too, but coffee and whisky are the only required things.

Always text her when I'm leaving or arriving at things. We spend our days separately, and my schedule varies a lot. I'm supposed to let her know where I am at all times, and rapport regularly. If I don't, she'll ask me whats wrong. Having my cell phone on and ready is not a rule as such, but I know she gets annoyed if I don't, so I do. (At least I think it's not a rule. I might get slapped over this one...)

And then the sex, of course. No orgasms without permission, no touching without permission, no anything without permission. No touching her without permission. She controls everything, when, where, what, how much. I don't think we could possibly have sex any other way by now. It would feel weird. (But I wouldn't mind being allowed to come whenever I wanted to when she's not around. That would be nice. But then again, the control is nice too.)

And, the big one of course, always obey. That one too goes almost without saying by now. I take pride in always obeying. I always do. (Except one time, for oh I don't know, maybe a minute? It was horrible - I'll probably write about it some time.)

I'm not allowed to say "no" either. I discovered this a few years ago when I had read somewhere of submissives who weren't allowed to use the word "no" and I scoffed at that and declared it unhealthy, and she told me that I wasn't allowed that either. Or rather that "she wouldn't like it if I did" (that translates to "not allowed" in our dynamic). Not that I couldn't disagree or want not to do things - but I can't tell her "no". I can tell her "I would very much like that not to happen" or "I really don't think that's a good idea", but apparently, that's not the same thing. So I don't tell her no.

That's about it, I think. But I've probably forgotten something. I sometimes forget just how much I do because she tells me to, and how ingrained that has become.

(I had: No swearing.)

(No drinking alcohol without permission.)

(No spending any large sums of money (coffee machine in school and the occasional lunch is ok).)

(No covering up, in any way, ever.)

(No talking after she's said "good night" to me in bed in the evening, until I've fallen asleep. It's ok to talk if I wake up in the middle of the night, though.)

(Always using a helmet when riding a bike.)

(No checking of email och Facebook in the evening, after little S has gone to sleep.)

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