Something has changed. There's a shift, in energy, in awareness, in tone of voice and in the atmosphere. It's like we've passed out of the forest, and the sun came out. In a way, I'd say it's over (the fighting, the constant arguing).
Of course, this may be very premature, but I wouldn't be surprised if we passed this weekend without horrible arguments and strife. I think we've made it. And even if we do fall back into old habits, for now, it has changed. No matter what happens tomorrow, right now, this is true.
I don't want to snap at her all the time any more. And I don't. She seems calm and collected, and I don't feel like she's on my case all the time. I believe her when she says she's pleased with me. And I can endure it when she seems displeased. That's a new one.
I think I finally realised that I do trust her. Not only in the big things, but in the little ones too. I can let go. I can let her decide, and not fear that she'll get down on me for the outcome, whether good or bad.
Everythings feels softer now.
I kneel a lot more before her. I use Mistress a lot more often. I curtsy when I hand her things, almost all the time. It just feels right. Nothing forced or awkward, not expectations on how she's going to react. Just calmness and submission (yey! I'm feeling submissive again) and contentment.
*happy sigh*
No comments:
Post a Comment