Time for a trip (and more sickness)

I'm sick again, have been since Saturday. I think I've coped rather well, actually, until today, keeping my mood up while not overexerting myself. But today I'm sinking. I feel ashamed about being like this, nervous about how Mistress is reacting to me, and disappointed about feeling poorly. Plus, of course, the pure physical discomfort of having fever and a bad throat and headaches, and most of all, the fatigue.

I hate this! I want to be healthy, not a constantly whining wreck.

Ok, part of the bad mood is stress and anxiety - Mistress leaves for Edinburgh tomorrow, and I'll be alone with little S for two days, before I join her. So 1) alone 2) alone with sole responsibility for child 3) sick 4) tons to do in school already 5) missing two days of school because of trip, stressed out over that 6) packing, preparing everything for the babysitters, and so on 7) nervous about flying alone, with a transfer in London. To me, everyone of these things would be enough to freak me out all by itself.

At least I managed to postpone my first day at my summer job, it was scheduled to tomorrow, but now I'll take that introductory day next week instead. And also, the things doesn't really stack up, I'm not seven times as anxious as I would have been, it's more as if my thoughts are flitting from one thing to another constantly.

Mistress is packing, I'm making our evening tea, and in a few minutes I'm going to cuddle up to her on the sofa for the last time before we'll see eachother in Edinburgh.